tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post4885955553985413441..comments2024-03-23T12:06:21.093-04:00Comments on My Preconceived Notion: The Sound of Hope Book TourDorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-59699060905269088572013-04-05T10:19:58.825-04:002013-04-05T10:19:58.825-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-82885553173579811132013-04-05T09:26:45.085-04:002013-04-05T09:26:45.085-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-13613422252111990202013-04-05T09:24:16.170-04:002013-04-05T09:24:16.170-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-5940535719531637092013-04-05T05:25:33.140-04:002013-04-05T05:25:33.140-04:00Dora,
This is my first time at your blog, and I j...Dora,<br /><br />This is my first time at your blog, and I just want to say first ... thank you. Thank you for being willing to look to the adoption community for guidance as to similar emotions your daughter may feel as a part of an open embroyo donation.<br /><br />Even within the "directly connected" adoption community, it's sometimes difficult to get others to be willing to listen to the viewpoint of adult adoptees from the closed adoption era--we've grown up with the "not knowing," the secrecy and the lies. And I commend you for your openness. <br /><br />Warmly,<br />LauraLauraDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08445185783356024685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-9643596021384911592013-04-05T02:18:07.182-04:002013-04-05T02:18:07.182-04:00I am another one who was crazy busy and somehow ma...I am another one who was crazy busy and somehow managed to get this book read and post written. But as always, it was worth it to have this experience connecting with you and others to discuss Anne's book. I am struck by the variety of backgrounds and life experiences that many of us bring to this Sound of Hope table. <br /><br />I am also fascinated by your point of view as the mother of a child conceived through embryo adoption. As someone who went through IVF and had leftover frozen embryos that we ended up donating for research, I appreciate hearing about your experience. I should tell you that we always intended to use them/try again, but after our first FET cycle grew into our second child, a baby girl with rare, severe and fatal congenital heart defects, we didn't feel we could take the chance that any of our other frozen embryos might have had similar issues. <br /><br />We did not come to our decision lightly and I admire those who know they don't want to have more children and yet have unused embryos, allowing them to be given to families such as yours. <br /><br />Okay, that was a bit of a tangent, but getting back to the book, I so agree that words matter and they matter a lot. They have the powerful to lift us up and make us feel so good and loved. They also can be so hurtful, especially when motivated by fear and misunderstanding.<br /><br />Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on The Sound of Hope and your kind words in your comment on my blog about Anne's book and the tour questions. Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04175833982955486083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-15306913289558107212013-04-04T23:42:24.260-04:002013-04-04T23:42:24.260-04:00I felt like I had hardly any time too and had to m...I felt like I had hardly any time too and had to make it like a homework assignment! :)<br /><br />I forgot about the afterword until I read your post. That statement, I thought was a little sarcastic and totally spot-on. I wish people would just view adoption with open eyes already. Yes, it's a way to build a family. No, I am not a "savior". Yes, it's important to cultivate relationships with first-families. No, it's not "weird" to have visits with first-families...etc, etc.Geochickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04060602689692876499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-73616999639099107512013-04-04T23:09:47.074-04:002013-04-04T23:09:47.074-04:00Anne's response here along with your comment a...Anne's response here along with your comment about how secrets keep us apart made me think how much the concept of openness has changed the world of adoption. One thing I've found is that the more I talk with my children about their birth families, the more comfortable I am with the conversations. At this point, talking about their birth family is like talking about my mom or my sisters and their families -- it's simply a part of our extended family -- and just as their love for their grandmother doesn't minimize or threaten their love for me, neither does their love for their birth mom. But, I'm not sure I'd feel that way if we weren't so open matter of fact about their adoption and their other family.Tonyahttp://www.mommymusings.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-90476519504562708752013-04-04T20:12:31.321-04:002013-04-04T20:12:31.321-04:00You have a very interesting perspective. Dora. Th...You have a very interesting perspective. Dora. Thank you for sharing.<br />I agree that Anne's brothers not searching seemed to be grounded in their guilt or fear of hurting their parents, but I hate to pass judgement on them. It's equal, in my opinion, to saying someone shouldn't search because they might hurt their parents. (I know you weren't suggesting that. I'm just making an observation)<br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07165737918653065179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-72091983868662422442013-04-04T18:51:56.036-04:002013-04-04T18:51:56.036-04:00"Words Matter"
Thank you for leaving su..."Words Matter"<br /><br />Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful comment on my blog. It's nice meeting you Dora :)!<br /><br />"I grew up with a mother who felt she knew how I should feel about things, and would tell me I was wrong, and should not feel that way."<br /><br />I could so relate to your feelings. I also grew up with mother who treated me the same way. Adding adoption made the equation even more difficult because I am still struggling to know how I felt and she was supposed to have all the answers? <br /><br />JoAnneAnne Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09535382092019597364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-86169753053753605562013-04-04T14:40:45.965-04:002013-04-04T14:40:45.965-04:00Like you, I was full of admiration for Anne for li...Like you, I was full of admiration for Anne for living from her core, despite what those around her thought she should feel and do.<br /><br />I've seen you in action with Sunshine and I can tell you are a very in tune kind of mama, giving her the space to feel her feelings, whatever they are.<br /><br />Bravo to you for helping people understand that words do matter.<br /><br />So glad you made the time to share the tour with me, Dora!<br /><br />Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-31494991215818221602013-04-04T12:14:30.504-04:002013-04-04T12:14:30.504-04:00I made that comment in my Afterword with the inten...I made that comment in my Afterword with the intent of being a bit sarcastic. I find it ridiculous that my parents were urged to tell us about our adoption status but nothing more. You cannot tell a child something so big and important as this and then expect the child to easily dismiss the subject and never bring it up again. I remember my mother stating that the social workers told them it was a good idea to tell the children about being adopted because if someday we found out by mistake (some relative accidentally spilling the beans maybe)then they would risk us being angry with them. So was the reason for telling us to protect the adoptive parents? It's hard to say what their intentions truly were at the time but is is silly to tell a child they were born from someone else but you are not allowed to know them or even see what they look like. So my statement was in no way giving society a "pass" to choose not to tell adopted children about their adoption status. It was stressing the "If" you do this scenario, then how can you not "do that".Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12829597048518840130noreply@blogger.com