tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50191077784575090712024-03-12T00:51:10.053-04:00My Preconceived NotionDorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.comBlogger132125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-48231356672513167002014-04-18T14:44:00.000-04:002014-04-18T14:44:53.133-04:00Wedding AnxietyNo ... not mine. I figured that title would get some attention. One of our babysitters got married last week. Sunshine was her flower girl. My anxiety about whether she would be able to handle it without a meltdown was pretty high. There were a couple of mini meltdowns at the rehearsal the night before, but she was a champ for the wedding. She informed me the day before that she would not need me to hold her hand. (I was expecting that I might have to walk with her, which was okay with the bride.) She did a fabulous job walking down the aisle with the ring bearer. She sat with the bride's mother during the ceremony and mass (yes, a Catholic wedding). She was awesome for all the pictures in front of the church and then at the reception. I was so proud of her!<br />
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In front of our building, on our way to the church </div>
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My love!!!!</div>
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The ceremony started a little late, so while we were waiting Sunshine did my favorite song and dance she learned at school.<br />
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<br />Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-14837043657177646032014-02-27T15:12:00.000-05:002014-02-27T15:12:46.347-05:00A Joyous Update!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Nearly
three years ago I posted a <a href="http://mypreconceivednotion.blogspot.com/2011/03/guest-post-stacys-story-can-you-help.html" target="_blank">guest post</a> from a woman whose story I learned from a
Single Moms by Choice email list. She truly had been through the wringer, and
was still without a child in her arms. I am so very happy to announce that she
is now a mom! Here is her announcement to the email list:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Hello All,<br />
<br />
I'm so very very blissfully happy to introduce my beautiful daughter Eliana
Jacqueline. She was born on February 5, 2014 weighing 6 lbs 14 oz and 19 inches
long.<br />
<br />
She is adopted. I got to be in the delivery room. The birth mother and I bonded
and it was a beautiful shared experience.<br />
<br />
After EIGHT long and painful years of infertility and heartbreak, my little
baby girl's precious face makes it all seem like a distant memory. Yes, I'm so
in love!<br />
<br />
I won't lie. It's a pride-swallowing siege; a humbling, exhausting, baptism by
fire to take care of a new born. Good lord! But it's worth it and it's a labor
of love.<br />
<br />
I already wouldn't trade it for anything.<br />
<br />
Stacy<br />
43 and finally a mother!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">When I
emailed her to ask if I could update her story on my blog she had even more
wonderful news. Baby number two is due in the beginning of September with a
gestational carrier and Stacy’s embryo from a previous IVF! Lots of happy sleep
deprivation ahead for this mom.</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></div>
Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-71195290121073896402013-10-29T16:53:00.000-04:002013-10-29T16:53:12.745-04:00Gin & Tonic? Yes, Please.<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">OH! If only
this post was about that G&T instead of “Gifted and Talented.” Mel has just
written <a href="http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2013/10/leaving-no-stone-unturned/" target="_blank">two</a> <a href="http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2013/10/one-more-chapter/" target="_blank">posts</a> about making the decision whether or not to put her bright
children into their area’s G&T program or to keep them at their local
elementary school, where they’re happy and doing well. First, I want to say
that I am blessed to even be able to contemplate these choices. My daughter is
healthy, and developmentally on track. She was behind verbally until her
hearing loss was corrected when ear tubes were placed when she was two. But, in
my opinion, she was still within the normal range with her verbal skills before
her surgery. Just on the lower end of the bell curve. Now (take my objectivity
with a grain of salt), I estimate her to be smack in the middle of the curve.
Do I think my kid is wonderful, bright, my own very special snowflake? Of
course I do. She is my joy! The light of my life. But gifted and talented in
the way that <a href="http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/gifted-and-talented-2013-7/" target="_blank">NYC tests</a> for? Probably not. Not at not quite four. FOUR!!!! Age
four is when NYC begins testing for it’s G&T program. They can also take
the exam at five, but there are very few spots available for those who don’t start in
G&T in kindergarten. That’s it. There is no other time during their primary
schooling for NYC kids to be tested for G&T. Even though research shows
that it’s not accurate or effective to test at that age. And the <a href="http://www.wnyc.org/story/305825-new-york-struggles-make-gifted-admissions-equitable-one-bronx-family-searches-way/" target="_blank">test prep</a>!
Tutoring a child at age four (or younger) for a test that is supposed to
indicate whether a child is innately ahead of the curve just feels so wrong. Oh,
and don’t suggest holding my late November birthday kid back a year, even though <a href="http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/article/what-happened-kindergarten" target="_blank">kindy is the new first grade</a>, don't you know. NYC has
eliminated <a href="http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/02/kindergarten-redshirting-gets-tougher-in-n-y-c-with-repercussions/" target="_blank">redshirting</a> completely. Children start kindergarten the calendar year
they turn five. Whether their birthdays are in January or December. They
are then expected to start first grade the calendar year they turn six. So it’s
not an option to send them to a private preschool the year they turn five and
then public kindy the year they turn six. If you want to hold your end of year
kid back a year, private elementary school is your only option.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-no-proof: no;">The air of
competition in NYC regarding kindergarten is insane. Nonetheless, I am grateful
that we don’t live on the skinny island at the center of the city, where test
prep for toddlers for private schools and G&T seems like the <a href="http://nymag.com/news/features/63427/" target="_blank">norm</a>. There’s
this feeling that if you don’t get your child into the right kindy, his or her
future is DOOMED! Within the middle class contingent in my outer borough
neighborhood there is some of this, but not at the level it is in Manhattan. As
I said before, in my opinion, Sunshine seems perfectly average. She’s a happy,
boisterous, child. Very affectionate, possibly with a higher than average EQ.
She puts a lot of effort into nurturing her baby dolls. <i>“Her wants to be next
to me, or her will cry.”</i> We are lucky to be zoned for excellent elementary
schools. So why am I feeling all this anxiety about the G&T exam, for which
I would have to submit the application by November 8th? What if I’m
missing something? What if she’s gifted and talented in a way that the test
would show, but that I’m not aware of? And we miss this opportunity? Although,
for some of the same reasons Mel wrote about, even if she did test into the
G&T program, I would almost certainly not enroll her in the city’s program.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-no-proof: no;">I do not
want her commuting to school at age 5. I don’t want to have to get her up
earlier in the morning to get on a school bus to go to another neighborhood. I
want her friends to be neighbors. I want her to feel like part of our
community. NYC’s G&T programs are almost all G&T dedicated schools.
Think about what that means in terms of diversity. Our neighborhood is THE most
culturally diverse neighborhood in a culturally diverse city. Our neighborhood
is also a mix of middle class and working poor. This benefits our local schools
immensely. The middle class parents who send their children to the local public
schools tend to be involved, and the percentage of the student population below
the poverty line entitles the schools to additional funding and resources
through the Federal Title 1 program. But, I’ve heard of schools that became
high performing schools thanks to the Title 1 resources, then the middle class
families zoned for the schools began sending their children there, only to have
the percentage of students below the poverty line drop to just below the
percentage to qualify for the extra funding. What happens then? Teachers are
eliminated. Class sizes increase. You get the picture. As this <a href="http://www.wnyc.org/story/301857-more-schools-are-not-poor-not-rich-just-squeezed/" target="_blank">article</a> states,
these schools can become victims of their own success.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-no-proof: no;">I’m
rambling, but all these factors are part of my anxiety. Adding in the
uncertainty of what the Department of Education will change next. I'm hoping our next mayor will shake up the DOE. I know what my
first choice is for Sunshine for kindergarten, but due to overcrowding, I have
<a href="http://www.wnyc.org/schoolbook/guides/enrollment/" target="_blank">no way of guaranteeing that</a>, even though my first choice is one of our zoned
schools.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-no-proof: no;">Pass me that
gin and tonic NOW!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-64679294589127310702013-09-26T16:34:00.001-04:002013-09-26T16:34:51.605-04:00And Then She Said – Part 3I have much to update and much to say, but not enough time
or energy. Briefly, my surgery went well, and my back feels so much better.
Shopping for new clothes is FUN! Sunshine is growing like crazy, and started
pre-k. Work is still crazy stressful, but basically, all is well with our
little family.<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last night Sunshine got this big, proud look on her face and
said to me, <b><i>“Mommy, when I was in your tummy, I didn’t go to school. I went to
work.”</i></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, honeybun. You certainly did.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Here’s some cuteness for you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbrcrh9UQiHFXxXslKVXFpcSkDGuUa-Yp7YwD0S6CjuWaQTv_NeIAv25sH4prhn6syGvE5VUB8a73Zt_fnT_Tnjv2Xgwuk0VvHxEqlWBaIftAm_8peLrHz1tyRkd8CZHZGvshKaGniBhE/s1600/upside+down+8-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbrcrh9UQiHFXxXslKVXFpcSkDGuUa-Yp7YwD0S6CjuWaQTv_NeIAv25sH4prhn6syGvE5VUB8a73Zt_fnT_Tnjv2Xgwuk0VvHxEqlWBaIftAm_8peLrHz1tyRkd8CZHZGvshKaGniBhE/s400/upside+down+8-13.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My little monkey!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4uuOplCJL_R3oQHIfPPdOgdQI3vRh6QcwuJJBlmLTiIuLuV_gZ9e-mhZNeTYLRFaa1nVsNbfcS0bpC0vsq6gjD5X13HRB5JxKQdjCCVLq_vxgzfvcReepEaPzCV89aO5OMgeqFHnqnH0/s1600/watering+lawn+8-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4uuOplCJL_R3oQHIfPPdOgdQI3vRh6QcwuJJBlmLTiIuLuV_gZ9e-mhZNeTYLRFaa1nVsNbfcS0bpC0vsq6gjD5X13HRB5JxKQdjCCVLq_vxgzfvcReepEaPzCV89aO5OMgeqFHnqnH0/s400/watering+lawn+8-13.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Helping our building's super water the grass and plants.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJwYA0FmGbLAXfu0A8VRMa5mo0zHd3PTyB62sH1feoOEsI2cbZID32v76fxX9gtF2XFAusIPn5_0-7pmIjoudLPJvQhFm3xQnux1n__sLtr5aBZkU9v0ZudMpKDaCE215XSQfFDjlf_KA/s1600/pool+8-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJwYA0FmGbLAXfu0A8VRMa5mo0zHd3PTyB62sH1feoOEsI2cbZID32v76fxX9gtF2XFAusIPn5_0-7pmIjoudLPJvQhFm3xQnux1n__sLtr5aBZkU9v0ZudMpKDaCE215XSQfFDjlf_KA/s400/pool+8-13.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just cuteness!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLa7pdPr4D_Se2oLGM3TNGjyOCyNQ1gBMOGkAnkoRZwGLTbvDqu-BpdQB7UxgXl8QCszGRY7l1gxEaA7zKNHR9YJwXboIWps9I4CkQNfyjc1hFKy8_JkVBAEl6T7nURBQvEj_1t_PnV_A/s1600/1st+day+pre-k.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLa7pdPr4D_Se2oLGM3TNGjyOCyNQ1gBMOGkAnkoRZwGLTbvDqu-BpdQB7UxgXl8QCszGRY7l1gxEaA7zKNHR9YJwXboIWps9I4CkQNfyjc1hFKy8_JkVBAEl6T7nURBQvEj_1t_PnV_A/s400/1st+day+pre-k.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
First day of pre-k!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnuBooTjIVEm2GVseYnTsTW1uWqFVNmap8IeJsRAfBahnEpOUL49jsLQqLDD5hyH_o2pVGyj0iQm13ophaoZFQTMZVQHFlOX5SD0x4tIY18mww2u7fKEezAPFfW9EmYFw6ZZ5_L4ci4wM/s1600/adventureland2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnuBooTjIVEm2GVseYnTsTW1uWqFVNmap8IeJsRAfBahnEpOUL49jsLQqLDD5hyH_o2pVGyj0iQm13ophaoZFQTMZVQHFlOX5SD0x4tIY18mww2u7fKEezAPFfW9EmYFw6ZZ5_L4ci4wM/s400/adventureland2.jpg" width="297" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
A day at the amusement park.</div>
Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-403963085081810022013-06-21T10:32:00.000-04:002013-06-21T10:32:11.462-04:00Me and Johnny<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Thanks to <a href="http://www.babble.com/entertainment/25-celebrities-turning-50-who-will-freak-you-out-2/" target="_blank">Dresden’s post</a>, I
am now aware that The Deppster and I share a birthday month. Johnny is all of
17 days older than me. In June of 1963, the world was graced with both of us.
Yup, you did the math right. I’ll be turning 50 in less than a week. Just a
little over 2 months before my daughter starts pre-k. CRAZY! We had an awesome
party last Saturday. (Sorry, no pics yet. Waiting for the 3 people who took
pics to send them to me.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I actually okay with this
BIG number. I have my Sunshine! I can only imagine how I’d feel about this
birthday if I had not managed to cross over from the Land of IF. She is truly
the light of my life. But on the other hand, I’m so exhausted! 3 1/2 is a hard
age. It feels like just about everything is a battle. She was awesome at the
party, because I let her have as many juice boxes and treats as she wanted.
Obviously, not an everyday thing. I know these battles are completely age
appropriate, and she’s probably easier than lots of other 3 year olds, but it’s
wearing me down. Working full time in a stressful environment and my chronic
pain issues make it that much harder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">But my big birthday gift to
myself should help. With my mom helping with Sunshine, I am scheduled for a
breast reduction in 3 weeks. I’ve wanted this for a long time. I was big
chested before, but between pregnancy and nursing, I went up about 3 cups sizes.
They did not go down after I weaned. Thankfully, my insurance company agrees
about the medical necessity, and approved the surgery. From what I hear from
people who’ve had this done, the mid and upper back pain, and shoulder and neck
pain will ease very quickly afterwards. I’m somewhat nervous about the
recovery, but I’ve been reminding myself that I recovered from my c-section
much more quickly than I expected, and much more easily than other women I
know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">The surgery is scheduled for
a Friday, and I’m taking the following week off work. My mom will have Sunshine
at her house for the week. I’m anticipating going to my mom’s after a few days
if I’m up to it, as I’m sure Sunshine will be jonesing for mama. She’s never
spent more than 3 nights in a row at my mom’s without me, and it’s usually just
1 or 2 nights. I expect it to be emotionally rough all around. I’m also
concerned about getting Sunshine to understand that she’ll need to be VERY
gentle with me while I’m healing. You see, Sunshine seems to think they’re hers
to do what she want with. Even though I weaned her at one, and I know she has
no memory of breastfeeding, she routinely reaches into my shirt for a
comforting grope. And when she wants to snuggle, it’s not unusual for her to
slam her head against a breast. OY! Any suggestions? I’ve talked to her little
about the surgery and how she’ll need to be gentle. I told her I was going to
have an operation, like she did when Dr. W fixed her ears and nose, and it
would make my back feel better. My little smart cookie asked if I’d be able to
sit on the floor to play with her after. Something she knows I don’t do much
because of my back. I’m not too concerned about not picking her up. She’ll have
to get used to hearing no on that. For at least a couple of months.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I’m excited, nervous, and
just wish the day would get here already.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Happy almost birthday to ME!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">And here's a little random cuteness for you.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSXsM1oeA-Svs5S4_U-vte85044V0m5HMqQTJHg1sJ_RbmBj49ZcYHwT1U-BmIjnebBHeAZ0dbeYkMhSs08AIL-KH3RnJgdBECpr7wfo_zt-viZJzPBPtnmE_0aVc5vV1DoG4Rn57H-TM/s1600/5-31-13a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSXsM1oeA-Svs5S4_U-vte85044V0m5HMqQTJHg1sJ_RbmBj49ZcYHwT1U-BmIjnebBHeAZ0dbeYkMhSs08AIL-KH3RnJgdBECpr7wfo_zt-viZJzPBPtnmE_0aVc5vV1DoG4Rn57H-TM/s400/5-31-13a.jpg" width="312" /></a></div>
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Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-76397825841930878282013-06-04T13:14:00.001-04:002013-06-04T13:14:22.696-04:00And Then She Said - Part 2<div class="MsoNormal">
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Sunday was the Pride Parade in our neighborhood. It’s not as big as <a href="http://gaytravel.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=gaytravel&cdn=travel&tm=13&f=10&tt=13&bt=3&bts=31&zu=http%3A//www.nycpride.org/events/the-march" target="_blank">the one in Manhattan</a> later this month, but it’s still sizable and very festive. I pulled together a perfect outfit for Sunshine to show our support for equality.</div>
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As we were watching the marchers go by, Sunshine spotted <a href="http://editorial.advocate.com/sites/advocate.com/files/imce/uploadedimages/queensPride2013_15.jpg" target="_blank">this costumed marcher</a> (wearing the wings on the left (link is semi safe for work)).</div>
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<br /></div>
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“Look Mommy! He a butterfly!”</div>
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Of course he is, sweetie.</div>
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Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-31386768102567268522013-05-29T15:21:00.001-04:002013-05-29T15:21:32.056-04:00And Then She Said - Part 1I really want to keep a record of some of the things she
says. They may not be chronological, but I’ll post them here as a sporadic
series.<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sunshine has been a bit of a demon lately. She’s digging her
heels in and testing her boundaries. It sucks! I’m now that mom — leaving
stores with a screaming preschooler; standing calmly next to her stroller while
she screams and puts her feet down on the pavement, so I can’t push the
stroller; counting to three, so she knows I mean business. Good thing I don’t
embarrass easily. She actually woke up at 2:30am recently and had a tantrum,
screaming for cookies. (Suffice it to say, she didn’t get any.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Last night, in between tantrums, she played pretend with me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>Sunshine: Mommy, I da mommy and you da baby. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Me: Okay. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Sunshine: If you want someting, you don’t get it if you
scweam and cwy.</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Me: (pouting) BUT I WANT IT!</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Sunshine: If you scweam you get nutting.</i></div>
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<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht9-8dwwif0TYgh-RRVeaeXHUhyphenhyphenr44B_cCjkYQzmdOmkAyrYnYf8PPsS27Bcn1nQ0sYoHhhMlhtM5cbKhvAgPy3h0QgXdkpSfegmrNIz4ekaUKoiqJ_xocx04ELNTD4qLpRbHixDpHGSo/s1600/red-dress5-3-13a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht9-8dwwif0TYgh-RRVeaeXHUhyphenhyphenr44B_cCjkYQzmdOmkAyrYnYf8PPsS27Bcn1nQ0sYoHhhMlhtM5cbKhvAgPy3h0QgXdkpSfegmrNIz4ekaUKoiqJ_xocx04ELNTD4qLpRbHixDpHGSo/s400/red-dress5-3-13a.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Rsetq83nsdZsLvqbBAHAQDJFyWcmBLoBFk-IvRJwKlTKF0lFize90kT29JW888T1Ev61ZdopsWaHUBj5qvq5l-3oC3vDyTHwp_ORdPL2SAnYRh9izhTc2rxnaXpdm86Cz8prBC6tt4E/s1600/learningpk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Rsetq83nsdZsLvqbBAHAQDJFyWcmBLoBFk-IvRJwKlTKF0lFize90kT29JW888T1Ev61ZdopsWaHUBj5qvq5l-3oC3vDyTHwp_ORdPL2SAnYRh9izhTc2rxnaXpdm86Cz8prBC6tt4E/s400/learningpk.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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Deceptively Adorable</div>
Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-57275065422522084952013-04-24T16:44:00.000-04:002013-10-29T17:00:51.339-04:00Join the Movement: Second Class Infertile<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/images/2013-bloggers-challenge-badge-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/images/2013-bloggers-challenge-badge-1.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
It's National Infertility Awareness Week. As usual, I'm overwhelmed with work, back issues, and a volatile three year old. For NIAW, I want to talk about age related infertility. It been on my mind a lot lately as I've been practically tearing my hair out reading messages on a listserve I belong to for women in their 40s who are single moms by choice, or attempting to become moms. The denial is through the roof! Another blogger and I have been emailing off list, and occasionally responding as voices of reason. So many women are convinced (or want to be convinced) that the odds don't apply to them. That the EXTREMELY rapid decline in fertility once a woman passes 40 can't really be true, because their grandmother, aunt, and Halle Berry, are proof that it's possible. Possible, yes. Likely, no. But we are blessed to live in a time that offers older women options. But with those options comes the need to really examine and choose where to use your resources.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">Advanced maternal age. </span><strong style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">AMA</strong><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">. That’s what it says on my chart.</span><br />
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That’s my infertility diagnosis - the same diagnosis that blames the patient. I <em>must</em> have been too busy with my high-powered career while my fertility declined month after month. I <em>must </em>have crazy, unrealistic standards for a husband/father of my child, and that’s why I was pursuing fertility treatments as a single woman in my 40's.</div>
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Every time the New York Times runs an article on infertility, the comment section is filled with comments about picky career women who wait too long to start their families. <em>We are not worthy of insurance coverage</em>, they say. <em>We are not worthy of treatments, they say. We should accept that time has passed us by.</em></div>
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Honestly, those comments don’t bother me much. The ones that get to me; the ones that sting, are the comments from other infertiles. They proclaim proudly that they are <strong>not</strong> like me - <em>they</em> are young and infertile,<strong> not like <em>those</em> women</strong>.</div>
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OUCH!</div>
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I could explain my long history of bad luck with relationships, but there’s really no point. Suffice to say, I’m <strong>very</strong> grateful that none of those men is the father of my child.</div>
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When I was younger, I assumed I would marry and have a child by the time I was 30. In addition to the pain of failed relationships, there has been the sometimes agonizing longing for a child. Trying to have a child on my own in my 40's was hard - really hard. I went to all my doctor appointments alone. After each failed (or cancelled) cycle, I cried alone. I did every single injection myself. I researched treatments and options myself.</div>
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I did finally succeed - I became pregnant at the age of 45 with donor embryos, and gave birth to my daughter when I was 46 years old.</div>
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When I read the defensive comments on NYT articles and elsewhere from younger women dealing with infertility, I want to say, “We’re not really so different.”</div>
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Infertility hurts. Let’s not allow the media and ignorant commenters divide us.</div>
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I have been so lucky to have received so much support from women in the ALI community, yet I have never seen a young woman defend an older infertile woman when the barbs fly in the media. I may not know how it feels to be told in your 20's or 30's that you’re infertile, and you may not know how it feels to long for a child as long as I did, but we all know <strong>infertility sucks balls</strong>.</div>
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<em>Can't we support each other, regardless of our stories?</em></div>
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For more info about infertility and National Infertility Awareness Week, check out these links from RESOLVE:</div>
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<a href="http://www.resolve.org/infertility101">Infertility 101</a></div>
<div class="p2">
<a href="http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html">About National Infertility Awareness Week</a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-48859555539854134412013-04-04T10:04:00.000-04:002013-04-04T10:04:59.624-04:00The Sound of Hope Book Tour<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://lavenderluz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/book-tour-bauer-cover.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lavenderluz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/book-tour-bauer-cover.png" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Even thought I haven't really had the time to post, I signed up for this book tour hosted by <a href="http://lavenderluz.com/" target="_blank">Lori</a>. I'm relieved to read that other participants had time constraints as well, but I'm glad I signed on for this. Turns out I have lots of opinions and feelings about the subject. The book, </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span id="btAsinTitle"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sound-Hope-Story-Adoptees-Origins/dp/0595520308/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365005955&sr=1-1&keywords=Sound+of+Hope" target="_blank">The Sound of Hope: A True Story of an Adoptee's Quest for her Origins</a> by Ann Bauer, is her account of growing up during the closed adoption era, and her search for her first parents. I am not part of an adoption triad. I am not an adoptee, a first mother, or an adoptive parent, but I have read quite a bit from those with firsthand experience with adoption. I am the mother of a child through an open embryo donation. Even though the situation is very different, there are lessons to be learned. Of course, I have also read and listened to what donor conceived people feel about their origins and secrecy, but adoption has a longer history and is much more widespread, so the adoption community where I often look for inspiration to help my daughter navigate her feelings about her origins.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span id="btAsinTitle">Now for my answers to questions posed by other bloggers. (Admission: I just didn't have time to come up with any questions to add to the mix, but I love the thoughtful questions everyone came up with.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span id="btAsinTitle"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span id="btAsinTitle">1. </span></span>There are many instances in which the people
around Anne do not acknowledge her feelings about her adoption status.
These instances range from her parents, especially her mother, her
fiancee, her
fiancee's parents, and even her birth mother. Do you think these
instances
occurred because of the general outlook on adoption at the time, and do
you
think that this outlook has improved over time?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
I do think it had to do with the outlook at the time. I think it's changed somewhat, but there's still a ways to go. I think this also relates to a question in the other set of questions about the way adoptions were matched based on physical similarity. This is very common with egg donation today. It's not even questioned. In my opinion, this opens the door to the possibility of secrecy. And secrecy is never in the best interests of the child. Secrecy is never about the child's feelings.</div>
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<div style="font-family: inherit;">
I had a hard time with the sections of the book where the people around Anne discounted or minimized her feelings. I grew up with a mother who felt she knew how I should feel about things, and would tell me I was wrong, and I should not feel the way I did. It hurt. It still hurts. (She still does it now and then.) Anne, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I applaud you for standing up to them all and demanding that your feelings be respected. Because of my experiences, and maybe just because I'm a different kind of person, respecting and honoring Sunshine's feelings has always been a high priority.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
2. A variety of words are used to describe family in this book:
mother, father, adoptive mother, adoptive father, biological relative, original
family, first mother, birth mother, and even bionic mother (her Dad's word).
Did you notice this word choice, and if so, what impact did it have on your
reading?</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
Yes, I noticed the word choice. I tend to notice word choice regarding family in general. I thought "bionic mother" reflected her father's mixed feelings about her search. I've chosen to refer to Sunshine's donor siblings as simply her brother and sister, as this seems to be the preferred language among donor siblings. A few months ago I was talking with one of my neighborhood mom friends. We were talking about Sunshine's origins, and about another mom and the son their family adopted. Then the discussion moved on to red hair, and how since it is recessive it needs to be on both sides genetically. She mentioned a friend who has a reheaded child even though neither parent has <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_hair" target="_blank">red hair</a>. She then said, "And I know they're the real parents." I took a deep breath and said that I know she didn't mean it that way, but it would be more appropriate to have said, "I know they're the genetic parents." I reminded her that I am Sunshine's REAL mother and that our friend who is an adoptive parent is her son's REAL mother. She was horribly embarrassed, but I told her it was better that she made the error with me, and I was sure she wouldn't make that mistake again. Words matter. A lot. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
3. In the
Afterword, Anne says "If children are to be told they're adopted, then
society needs to embrace the full consequences of the truth." Does
this statement subtly give "society" a pass, suggesting that perhaps children
should <i>not</i> be told? What do you make of
her assertion that "when children are kept in the dark regarding their
origins, nobody wins."? What about her brothers, who never searched for
their own origins? Is this "uncuriosity" normal? Acceptable?
Preferable?</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
"Does
this statement subtly give "society" a pass, suggesting that perhaps children
should <i>not</i> be told?" I hope not. I'm curious to hear Anne's response to that, since she's the only one who can say what she meant when she wrote that.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
"What do you make of
her assertion that "when children are kept in the dark regarding their
origins, nobody wins."?" I agree. Secrets keep us apart. Love and honesty bind us together. </div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
"What about her brothers, who never searched for
their own origins? Is this "uncuriosity" normal? Acceptable?
Preferrable?" It does seem, anecdotally, that boys/men seem less compelled to search. Normal? What's normal? Acceptable? Of course. if one is to respect curiosity, one needs to also respect "uncuriosity". Preferable? My gut response is no. Just looking at Anne's family, her brothers' "uncuriosity" appears steeped in guilt, anger, and resentment. No, that's not preferable.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
I'm glad I read the book and pushed myself to find the time to put my thoughts together. This post is one I'd be happy to have my daughter read someday and discuss together. I'm going to try to find the time to comment on the other thoughtful posts.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
To continue to the next leg of this book tour, please visit the main list at<a href="http://lavenderluz.com/2013/04/adoptlit-sound-of-hope-book-tour.html" target="_blank"> </a><a href="http://lavenderluz.com/2013/04/adoptlit-sound-of-hope-book-tour.html" target="_blank">LavenderLuz.com</a><a href="http://lavenderluz.com/2013/04/adoptlit-sound-of-hope-book-tour.html" target="_blank"><span id="goog_1020884913"></span><span id="goog_1020884914"></span></a>.</div>
Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-31969451784876651032013-03-20T15:37:00.000-04:002013-03-26T21:29:19.701-04:00Hilarity and Advice Request<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
My child is truly hilarious. At the ripe age of 3, she has
comic timing down. Her delivery can be deadpan. And not because she doesn’t
realize she’s saying something funny. She knows she’s being funny, she LOVES
making me laugh, and can deliver it without cracking up. For instance, the
other night we were cuddling at bedtime, and out of the blue she says, “Mommy,
take off my fingers.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What?!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Take off my fingers,” she repeated emphatically. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But how will you do things,” I asked. “How will you eat?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“With a fork.” Not missing a beat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How will you hold your fork?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She tossed the covers off her legs, stuck her feet in the
air, and declared, “With my feet.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How will you play with your toys?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“With my feet.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay. So, every time you want to eat or play or do
anything, you’ll have to take off your shoes and socks?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See? Hilarious! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxMg_VRSgXp3B8KJdT-mzS7JP1ACITc9BmDtsGuwc4qIER2TO6q1K4XLJwvMTclPK2pLXuB9krUHITok0XsafP580UsMNRxZ9vPVxzwpJLGX3HBj_aq7W2E__WJE6KWImhDC-jzD2AkYo/s1600/mar2013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxMg_VRSgXp3B8KJdT-mzS7JP1ACITc9BmDtsGuwc4qIER2TO6q1K4XLJwvMTclPK2pLXuB9krUHITok0XsafP580UsMNRxZ9vPVxzwpJLGX3HBj_aq7W2E__WJE6KWImhDC-jzD2AkYo/s400/mar2013.JPG" width="291" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMzpyGxzQOurmbWCqP0lXp1C5L5qAgC8hmw9F5G8UfW0w-_h3Ll6s39FWnACChfuVlkYdvgXJLNdrUDEaH_muXSnmxn4Gd2JqieD-oCCUZGCf1XPHnt21BtgVkfdl0LOuVxcXHA1QHRao/s1600/snow+2-10-13-a.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMzpyGxzQOurmbWCqP0lXp1C5L5qAgC8hmw9F5G8UfW0w-_h3Ll6s39FWnACChfuVlkYdvgXJLNdrUDEaH_muXSnmxn4Gd2JqieD-oCCUZGCf1XPHnt21BtgVkfdl0LOuVxcXHA1QHRao/s400/snow+2-10-13-a.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>On the other hand, she is a normal three year old, and the
latest phase of meltdowns and tantrums are a bitch. It’s suddenly hard to go
into stores with her, as she wants whatever catches her eye. She tells me “You
MEAN and you WRONG!” if she doesn’t get her way. Not fun. Yet, I’m not having
as hard a time with it as the tantrum phase that hit just before she turned
two. I’m more confident about handling it. I’m not embarrassed by her
meltdowns. She recently had one at our local Wa1greens, where they know her,
because I wouldn’t buy her a plastic shovel she wanted. There were four
employees by the register as she flung herself to the floor, screaming and
crying. They know her by name. “Sunshine, cut it out and listen to your mommy!”
The village is everywhere.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now for the advice request. One of our cats will be leaving
us in the near future. Our Woohoo (formerly known as Wilson) has a tumor in the
sinus area on one side. His nose is almost completely blocked on that side and
he’s got a constant sinus infection, despite being on antibiotics for a month
and a half solid. It’s just not an operable area on a kitty. Thankfully, he’s
still eating, drinking, and hanging out for cuddles. He’s definitely not his
usual self, but he’s not miserable enough to make the call to euthanize yet.
I’m looking for books to help Sunshine prepare for and deal with his death. I’m
looking for suggestions for books that deal with it in a secular way. I bought
her <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553344021/ref=oh_details_o04_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1" target="_blank">this book</a> when she started asking questions about death recently. I like
it, but I want something that will be specifically about losing a pet, but
without discussing heaven or religion. I bought <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0689712030/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1" target="_blank">this book</a>, and although I like
the way it handles the question of belief systems, I don’t think she’s old
enough to understand the concepts. I’ve started to prepare her a bit by saying
that I don’t think Woohoo is going to get better. That we have to take good care
of him, give him his medicine and wipe his drippy nose, and just be extra
gentle and loving. This REALLY sucks. Anyway, suggestions would be appreciated.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimu5SiElY6X1dVafwOfoJ3pZjuF_ywzReIE1yUFhMh_x4atFqP5BxyQPqtXZA8oYmjNAC3Uy49MWCPB3jOQlNacVtJEuuoJlBwl57Sd1HMSsr6dJFwHs4c2c-6ryqHWpy5qf2ZWzjyt7I/s1600/catnap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimu5SiElY6X1dVafwOfoJ3pZjuF_ywzReIE1yUFhMh_x4atFqP5BxyQPqtXZA8oYmjNAC3Uy49MWCPB3jOQlNacVtJEuuoJlBwl57Sd1HMSsr6dJFwHs4c2c-6ryqHWpy5qf2ZWzjyt7I/s400/catnap.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Sunshine and Woohoo napping together (OMG!) two years ago</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-87691973469668322032013-02-14T15:30:00.001-05:002013-02-14T15:30:52.692-05:00With Love From Our Little Family<div style="text-align: center;">
Much to say, no time. But here's our Valentine. Mwah!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqiccdYRmoN2-F4XyKsYAzXmBCrkgD9yeKTUTnXtc10KA8MevZXrHyYZpLfYtGc50bS43kPrbRuDIQg7qRCP5zINsCcxZ0KUWli64H9sr4oE3MmiHRnu_tNNWms4LkFfgB7BNyOGIibAw/s1600/val-2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqiccdYRmoN2-F4XyKsYAzXmBCrkgD9yeKTUTnXtc10KA8MevZXrHyYZpLfYtGc50bS43kPrbRuDIQg7qRCP5zINsCcxZ0KUWli64H9sr4oE3MmiHRnu_tNNWms4LkFfgB7BNyOGIibAw/s320/val-2013.jpg" width="248" /></a></div>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiltPNd8ZSuMA2V3t8GwpXogtcC-eewMWbVbcnsrsHzQjyFqQtWd1dDKZKn0_JzPJqi1kLcuNUmZQVI1Bu03kiUoDfIXqv-Ds9kbWU8kAFekkSTXqqrQliH8RvUUivvzTs84hdOzW37KSA/s1600/val-2013b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiltPNd8ZSuMA2V3t8GwpXogtcC-eewMWbVbcnsrsHzQjyFqQtWd1dDKZKn0_JzPJqi1kLcuNUmZQVI1Bu03kiUoDfIXqv-Ds9kbWU8kAFekkSTXqqrQliH8RvUUivvzTs84hdOzW37KSA/s320/val-2013b.jpg" width="248" /></a></div>
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</div>
<br />Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-72974779484298804542013-01-07T13:33:00.000-05:002013-01-07T13:33:24.980-05:00Dark Thoughts & Avoidance
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">It feels wrong to finish my
overdue third birthday post without saying something about the Connecticut
school shooting. I have for the most part avoided news stories and blog posts.
But a few bloggers have addressed it better than I can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I really related to this
from <a href="http://www.stirrup-queens.com/" target="_blank">Mel</a> in a <a href="http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2012/12/sufganiyot/" target="_blank">post</a> that was only partly about Sandy Hook:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<i><b>"I’ve been trying not to think about the event itself, looking at the coverage out of the corner of my eye. Do you know that is a preemie survival technique? Their brains become so overwhelmed from stimulation that they cope by looking at things out of the corner of their eye instead of head-on. So I am looking at the events at Sandy Hook out of the corner of my eye, trying to distract myself."</b></i></div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="s1">Maybe it’s because I was a preemie, but more likely because as Mel’s husband <a href="http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2012/12/an-act-of-faith/"><span class="s2">Josh said</span></a>, </span><span class="s3"><i><b>"sending our children to school has always been an act of faith."</b></i></span> Every day I send my precious daughter out into the world while I go to work. She is in the care of teachers who love her, as were the children of Newtown. As she grows older, I will have to allow her more and more freedom in the world. In order to manage fears that could easily explode out of control, I sometimes need to put my blinders on.<span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I also found myself agreeing
with <a href="http://mamasminutia.blogspot.com/2012/12/self-care.html" target="_blank">this post</a> I came across and <a href="http://herewegoajen.com/its-okay/" target="_blank">this post</a> of <a href="http://herewegoajen.com/" target="_blank">Jen’s</a> that Mel listed in a
Roundup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">As for how to
prevent/minimize these types of horrific crimes, <a href="http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/12/the-inconvenient-truth-about-mental.html?m=1" target="_blank">this post</a> made a lot of sense
to me, even though I think some of the ideas are unrealistic. If even some of
them were implemented, the world would be somewhat safer. And, really, that's the best we can do.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-69304514713971448982012-12-31T15:13:00.000-05:002012-12-31T15:13:04.005-05:00Perfect Moment Monday: CHOCOLATE!
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I’ve started Sunshine’s
birthday letter, and I’ve got a few things running through my head about the
recent tragedy in Connecticut, but I’ve been too busy, or too tired and
overwhelmed to get those together. So I thought I’d post a quickie for Lori’s
Perfect Moment Monday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I sometimes feel a twinge of
guilt and sadness that I often miss terrific photo opportunities, but I know
it’s generally because I’m right there in the moment with my girl. Even when I
do take some pictures, it might be 5 or 10 pictures instead of a dozen or so.
My Perfect Moment, for instance. I took Sunshine to a chocolate workshop last
week. For the first part I was too involved with helping her to take my camera
or phone out of my pockets. I wish I’d thought to hand my camera to an employee,
but I did get a few winners later. Most importantly, Sunshine had a BLAST! It
was awesome watching her have so much fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Wishing you a wonderful 2013
from our little family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-78876771470729646422012-11-06T09:42:00.000-05:002012-11-06T09:42:21.558-05:00Post Sandy Update & Get Out And Vote Video<span style="font-family: Arial;">I know, not the best post
title, but it’s been a week! We were fine during the hurricane. We had a few
flickering lights Saturday night, but never lost power. The worst we had to
deal with was toddler cabin fever. It’s going to be a long Winter!</span>
<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Our neighborhood really came
together. An alternative Halloween activity was quickly organized. The kids had
a great time. Then the community came together to help fellow New Yorkers who
didn’t fair as well. A few kids started out by setting up a table by our
playground and offering manicures for donations for Sandy relief efforts, then
a little bake sale popped up. By the weekend, tons of donations were being
collected, and driven to Rockaway and Staten Island, The bake sale grew, and
hot food and drinks were for sale to help the effort. Thousands of dollars were
raised, calls were made to find out what was needed most, and trips to Home
Depot were made to purchase requested vital items to bring to the devastated
areas. It was heartening to walk around Sunday afternoon and see the huge piles
of donations, people enjoying homemade baked goods for a good cause, and the
adorable girls, still giving manis. Sunshine helped me fill a couple of bags
with warm clothes, shoes, boots, and toys.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Now our video. I probably
should have started sooner teaching Sunshine to pronounce our President’s name.
Oh, well. GO! VOTE!</span></div>
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Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-61279687846578453002012-10-19T14:07:00.002-04:002012-10-19T14:42:16.276-04:00My Hard Earned Expertise And Other Miscellania<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Two weeks ago yesterday I
was walking home from daycare with Sunshine when we met a woman walking her
golden retriever. We usually stop to say hello to the neighborhood dogs, as I
don’t want Sunshine to grow up being afraid, and I want her to learn how to
approach them safely. So I asked my usual question. “Is it a friendly dog?”
“Oh, yes, Zena loves children!” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Well, this dog had pretty
much the same color fur as Sunshine’s hair. So I asked her, “What color is
Zena’s fur?” “Sawberry bond.” (That’s strawberry blonde, for those not fluent
in toddler.) We laughed at her adorableness. The woman was completely enchanted
by Sunshine. “Oh, she’s wonderful! You’re so lucky!” she gushed. I agreed, and
told her that I’d waited a long time for her. Her expression changed. “Did you use
fertility treatments?” So I gave her the abbreviated version of our story. “I’m
single, too, “ she confided. “And my first IUI is tomorrow!”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">We exchanged contact info
and I wished her luck. Since then via text and phone I have guided her more
than her RE. (Duh!) Explaining that when calculating days post ovulation,
ovulation day is day 0. Reassuring her that the pink spotting these last two
days is probably irritation from the progesterone suppositories. Laughing to
myself that she had no idea about taking multiple HPTs to watch the line get
darker. She got a faint line on a FRER on Tuesday, then a neg on a digital on
Wednesday, so I assured her that digital tests are notoriously less sensitive.
She didn’t want to spend more money on HPTs (CRAZY, I KNOW!), so decided to
wait until her beta, which is today. Waiting for the text.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>Update</b>: Negative beta. I'm calling it a chemical.</span></div>
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****** </div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Today was <span id="goog_179672245"></span><a href="http://creatingmotherhood.com/">Dresden<span id="goog_179672246"></span>’s</a> second
beta. Not great, but not out of the game. <a href="http://creatingmotherhood.com/2012/10/19/next/">Please go over and giver her some love.</a></span></div>
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******<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://lifeandloveinthepetridish.blogspot.com/">Magpie Watch 2012 is ON!</a> I
can’t wait to hear that this long awaited little girl is here, and that mom and
baby are well.</span></div>
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******<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Last Saturday morning
Sunshine and I had a little dance party in our kitchen. Whenever we dance
together I’m reminded of what a joy it is, and that we should do it more often.
After dancing together, Sunshine did a solo dance. I know the video is a little
long, but it’s worth it! Her moves at the end are great. Enjoy! (Please disregard the mess on my kitchen counters.)</span></div>
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<br />Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-30627462408103081852012-10-08T13:19:00.001-04:002012-10-08T13:19:37.247-04:00You’re Invited! A Virtual Shower For Mo.<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I am so blessed. Obviously,
I’m so blessed with my amazing little girl, but I’m also blessed with wonderful
friends. Friends who get it. I don’t differentiate between bloggy friends and
other friends. If someone asks, I may say I know the friend through the
internet, but I don’t offer up that information. My internet friends are not
second tier friends. They’re just friends. Some of whom I’ve met face to face,
and some I haven’t. I feel so lucky to count <a href="http://lifeandloveinthepetridish.blogspot.com/">Mo</a> as a friend. I’ll always
remember our first face to face meeting, where we almost immediately began
cracking dark jokes about cycling that may well have shocked anyone eavesdropping.
She was the first person other than hospital staff and immediate family to <a href="http://lifeandloveinthepetridish.blogspot.com/2009/12/meeting-doras-new-daughter.html">hold my newborn</a>. I was so happy to have dinner with her a few weeks ago and see her
glorious baby belly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">And now I am so excited that
she has agreed to my suggestion of a virtual baby shower. I have set up a separate
blog for this: <a href="http://mowillandmagpie.blogspot.com/">Waiting For Magpie: A Celebration</a>. I would love it if you would
write your congratulations to their family, or maybe the best bit of newborn
advice you wish you'd known, or the odd baby gear you found invaluable, or
whatever. Please email them to me at <a href="mailto:dorasblog@gmail.com">dorasblog@gmail.com</a>, and I'll post each
one as its own post. Let’s hop to it! This baby girl could arrive any time now!
I’ll be writing my own post as soon as I have a little more time. (And also
create a cute little header.) But I’ll put up the posts as they come in. So
join the party!</span></div>
Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-74098327784353192502012-09-25T16:47:00.001-04:002012-09-25T16:47:29.477-04:00Perfect Moment Monday: Conversations<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Sunshine was a bit delayed
with her speech. Her poor little ears were filled with goop until she had her
surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids, and drain her ears and insert ear
tubes. That was done a month after her second birthday. Immediately she could
hear so much better, and her speech took off. I’m just loving our
conversations. Her enthusiasm, peeking into her thought process, watching her
sense of humor develop, the give and take, it’s awesome.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">As I’ve posted recently, I
haven’t been feeling great lately, but I savor our increasingly nuanced
conversations. They are wonderful perfect moments.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Last week as I pushed her in
her stroller after leaving daycare, I asked if she wanted a banana.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>“You have one?”</i> she asked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I stopped pushing the
stroller and walked around to face her. <i>“Would I ask you if you wanted one if I
didn’t have one?”</i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“You have it in you bag?”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial;">"Yes." </span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“You rock, Mama!”</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">And speaking of her sense of
humor, I tried to get her to sing happy birthday to her cousin, and this is
what I got. Cheeky girl!</span></div>
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Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-9098913438689141612012-09-25T15:56:00.002-04:002012-09-25T15:56:59.288-04:00I Should Have Done This Months Ago!<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Had my epidural injections
yesterday morning. It was very different than the epidural I got during labor.
It was done under <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluoroscopy">fluoroscopy</a>, with fine needles on both sides of the spine. It
hurt, but not as bad as I anticipated. Definitely not as bad as the <a href="http://www.medcentral.org/Main/FacetInjections.aspx">facet injections</a> I’ve had. The dr told me I’d be sore, and to expect the injections
to take full effect in a few days. But even though I was quite sore, I felt the
difference right away. I went home and took a long nap, then spent some time
sorting through Sunshine’s clothes. Bagging up the outgrown items and
organizing the Fall clothes. I’d done a little of this Sunday night, and was in
a lot of pain just from folding things. Doing it yesterday evening was easy! I
feel like a different person! There’s still some pain, but I’m reassured
knowing I will probably feel even better in a few days.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Started Mobic (7.5mg) this
morning. The three days leading up to the injections without NSAIDs convinced
me that I really need to be on a strong anti-inflammatory. Thanks so much for
all the support!</span></div>
Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-48496014021391180682012-09-21T14:16:00.001-04:002012-09-21T14:16:49.525-04:00More<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Tears again this morning
when I saw that <a href="http://www.stirrup-queens.com/">Mel</a> had chosen my post for the <a href="http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2012/09/411th-friday-blog-roundup/">Roundup</a>. That was such a hard
post to write. I have a whole bunch of posts partially written in my head, and
several ideas jotted down in a draft, but I’ve been telling myself I need to
write THIS post first. My readers are my friends, and I kind of feel like I’ve
been lying by omission with posts about being exhausted and what a joy my
daughter is (most of the time). Those things are true, but they aren’t a full
picture. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Oh, I forgot to mention in
my last post, re the suggestion about getting my vitamin D levels checked, I do
get it checked somewhat regularly, but the comment was a good reminder to stay
on top of it as the days get shorter and playground time dwindles.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Now maybe I can find the
time to write about the “daddy” conversations Sunshine and I have been having,
about still happily cosleeping with my toddler, about my minimalist attitude
towards toys, about princesses and pretty, and so on. Any preferences as to
what I should tackle first?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">This morning Sunshine and I
were watching a garbage truck from the window (are all toddlers somewhat
fascinated by trucks?), when she gave me a big hug and said, “I love you so
much, Mommy!” My back hurts, but my heart is full.</span></div>
Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-33036738231370215912012-09-20T16:07:00.001-04:002012-09-20T16:07:36.266-04:00THANK YOU!<style>@font-face {
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Your responses made me cry.
Thank you so much for validating how I’m feeling. My family is somewhat nearby
(about an hour by car), and they do help, but emotionally they are completely
unsupportive. I should be used to it. Many years ago I had a chronic migraine
problem. They would go on for weeks and months without a break. At one point I
even had my dr try an inpatient treatment to break the headache cycle. I saw
several top neurologists who specialized in headaches. Despite going to a few appointments
with me at one point and having two different neuros tell my mother that, yes,
they were migraines, and likely inherited from her side of the family, since
they were not like the migraines she’d had, she didn’t believe me. When I told
her about the possible fibro diagnosis, she said, “I doubt you have that.
People with fibromyalgia are very fatigued.” I thought my head would explode.
Seriously, what part of “I’m in a lot of pain, it hurts pretty much all over,
and I’m exhausted,” did you not hear? Instead I’m admonished not to talk about
my “aches and pains” in front of Sunshine. I am grateful for the help I get
with Sunshine, but the emotional battering that comes with it is hard to take.
And makes me a little paranoid about being taken seriously.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Regarding the info in the
comments, again, THANK YOU! The dr I’m seeing now is a pain specialist (as was
the last one I saw for this, the one who kept me waiting so long). The current
dr did send me for autoimmune blood work a couple of months ago, which was
negative. I also had a very thorough autoimmune workup with a hematologist both
before I started IVF, and again during the first trimester of my pregnancy. So
I’m not sure if it’s really necessary to see a rheumatologist right now. I will
ask my dr about mobic, since two of you have suggested it. I take a LOT of
ibuprofen these days. I’ve tried ce1ebrex in the past, and didn’t find it
helpful, so I’m a little skeptical of a once a day anti-inflammatory, but I’m
willing to give it a shot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I need a vacation! It’s just
not in the cards right now. I read about other SMCs going on vacations with
their families, or getting invites to beach houses. To say a vacation with my
family would be a disaster is an understatement. And we don’t have any friends
with beach houses. As a city girl and a non-driver, the prospect of traveling
with my toddler on my own is hugely daunting. At the moment, finances don’t
permit anyway, but I keep joking that we’ll go on vacation when Sunshine is old
enough to wheel her own luggage. Only I’m not really joking. I love to travel,
and can’t wait to show Sunshine lots of wonderful places. But traveling with
her right now sounds more stressful than staying home. It makes me sad, but on
the other hand, as an older mom, I’ve already seen a lot of the world, so I
don’t feel deprived in that way. And I don’t think Sunshine will grow up
feeling deprived that she didn’t travel as a toddler. She enjoys plenty of cool
local events and attractions. Now that I sometimes let her get out of her
stroller in the subway, a subway ride is an awesome adventure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Again, thanks for the
support. I love you all!</span></div>
Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-73210494814529832422012-09-18T16:05:00.000-04:002012-09-18T16:05:32.519-04:00Single Motherhood At My Age: My Reality<style>@font-face {
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I love, love, love being a mom. I become more enchanted with my little girl every day. But, man, this is hard! I’ve been putting off writing this for a long time. Mostly due to time and energy constraints, but also for emotional reasons. I don’t want to complain when I truly feel lucky in so many ways. I’m dealing with a lot of pain issues that I’ve been reluctant to blog about. Even though I know many younger people deal with chronic pain, it makes me feel old. And I am old. I’m 49 years old with a spirited toddler! I put in a 40 hour week, plus 10 hours a week commuting, and daycare is almost half my take home pay. It’s frustrating at this point in my life to feel like each month I’m slipping a little further behind financially. It adds greatly to my stress level, which adds to my pain levels.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I’m stressed and don’t feel like I’m handling it well, yet I’m not depressed. My anxiety level is through the roof right now, but I think I manage to be in the moment with Sunshine most of the time. Work is miserable. I mostly like the work I do, but my workplace is a very unhappy place right now. I don’t think I’ve ever posted about my job. I’m a graphic designer for a sales division of a big media company. I mostly design ads for tv and the web. There was an executive shake up at the end of last year and things are incredibly tense. Like coworkers in tears tense. Everyone is on edge, and the higher ups are demanding more productivity with less support. But in this economy, we know we’re lucky to have these jobs. Sucks, but just the idea of trying to find something else terrifies me.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Regarding the chronic pain, I’ve had some back problems for years, but it wasn’t too bad until my pregnancy. You may remember that I needed foot surgery while I was pregnant. It added to the lower back problems during and after the pregnancy. I have arthritis and bulging discs in my lower back. Also in my neck, although that hasn’t been causing consistent pain like the lower back. And my feet, even after surgery, are not so good. I also have some bursitis in my hips, likely also an aftereffect of the pregnancy. I was seeing a doctor for it last year who did some injections (facet blocks) with varying success, but decided not to go back to her, as I was not happy with how her practice was run. Last time I had an appointment with her I waited in the waiting room and exam room for an incredibly long time. I was at her office for over FOUR HOURS. The resident examined me and spoke with me some, then the doctor breezed in and out in about five minutes. I was furious! All these pain issues are connected, and without discussing pain other than my lower back, she was not getting a full picture. I recently went to someone new who gave me a tentative diagnosis of fibromyalgia. Apparently there are eighteen points on the body that are checked for tenderness if fibromyalgia is suspected. If there is pain or tenderness in at least eleven of those points, fibro is likely. I have pain in all eighteen points.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">There are systemic treatments, but I’m not willing to experiment with the side effects while dealing with full time work and a toddler. So I’m trying to deal with areas that I can have treated, while hoping that if some areas feel better, my overall pain levels with go down. I had some cortisone injected in my hips last month and got some relief, but I think I’ll need another round in a few months to bring those levels down further. Next week I’m trying an epidural injection to try to get relief from the lower back pain. For the last few weeks my entire back has been tight with muscle spasms, but I suspect the mid and upper back pain is a muscular reaction to the lower back issues.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Oh, and let’s add in a little extra stress with an emergency visit to the ophthalmologist yesterday for what turned out to be a scratch on my cornea.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">UGH! Can you see why I’ve been reluctant to post this? I feel like a whiner. I feel ancient. IT HURTS! It means I’m not always as patient with Sunshine as I’d like to be. It means I try to curb messy playing at home because I don’t have the energy to do the extra cleaning. It means I’m probably not performing as well as I should on my job, which scares me.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I have absolutely no regrets about becoming a single mother by choice, but when does it get easier?</span></div>Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-3959563658911708012012-09-11T14:51:00.000-04:002012-09-11T14:51:05.528-04:00Today. And My Life, Eleven Years Later.I don't really have much to say today that I haven't said before. My prior September 11th posts are easy enough to find in my archives. I'm feeling jumpy and out of sorts. It's a crisp clear day, like that one.<br />
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But I had a moment this morning that perfectly illustrated how different my life is today. Sunshine held my face in her hands and said, "You my girl? You my big girl?" Oh, yes, child! I am yours!<br />
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Hope this brightens your day.<br />
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Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-80619472380726753142012-08-15T23:41:00.002-04:002012-08-15T23:43:20.701-04:00Why?!?!Why can't you hear the comments I write in my head? Seriously, I'm reading so much lately that I want to comment on, and there's so much in my head I want to write about here. I just wish you could all selectively (selected by me, of course) read my mind a little. <br />
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Oh, well. Maybe tomorrow. Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-12792581340939234192012-07-25T10:41:00.000-04:002012-07-25T10:41:36.018-04:00I'm With The Band!I'm really proud of this. I wrote a post for <a href="http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/">Aunt Becky's</a> awesome <a href="http://www.bandbacktogether.com/post/3170/">Band Back Together</a> site. It's a post that's been percolating in my mind for a long time. I hope you'll click over to read it.Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5019107778457509071.post-30749701596723968082012-07-10T16:30:00.001-04:002012-07-10T16:33:25.380-04:00FOR IO!Did you read <a href="http://damnthatstork.blogspot.com/2012/07/secret-handshake.html">this post</a> from <a href="http://damnthatstork.blogspot.com/">Io</a>? It's awesome! She's AWESOME! She's been blogging for a long time, but took a break while she and her husband have been saving up for IVF. She's been such a stalwart in the ALI community, I can only imagine how hard it's been to watch practically EVERYONE cross over to parenthood while she was still waiting for her chance. HER CHANCE IS NOW! She triggered last night, so retrieval tomorrow. I'm waiting impatiently for each update.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Io, my friend, this is for you.</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/rtr9CZvZPN4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br>I also put a little good luck package in the mail for her yesterday. Before my first FET, Kathy sent me a package with <a href="http://isothegoldenegg.blogspot.com/2009/02/mels-show-tell-lucky-socks-and-beads.html">two pairs of lucky socks</a>. I wore both pairs of socks for both FETs. I can't part with the Canadian flag socks, but I can't think of anyone more deserving of some good sock mojo than Io. So she'll be receiving the other pair in time for her transfer. She has been waiting SO DAMN LONG just to get out of the gate. Here's to the next nine months, girlfriend!Dorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.com2