Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Two Years Ago

Two years ago today I wrote my first blog post. I was still trying to conceive with my own eggs. At that point I’d had three IVF cycles cancelled before even starting due to cysts on my ovaries. The monstrously huge box of IVF meds had been staring at me for over three months. I’d participated on message boards and read some blogs, but was only beginning to understand the magnitude and power of this online community.

For years prior, I had sworn I would never have a blog. Hard to believe, huh? Well, there’s a story behind that. Five years earlier I went out with this guy. We really connected. We talked and talked and talked, we held hands, we kissed … a lot. Then things progressed the way they usually do in these situations. And he appeared to drop off the face of the earth. TWO WEEKS later he emailed me apologizing and saying he realized he was “emotionally unavailable.” I have to say, I was rather proud of my response. I told him that I’d already figured that out, and that I thought it was bad form to break up via email after sleeping together. Then, and here’s where the blog aversion comes in, he proceeded to chew over his feelings about us, wavering back and forth about whether to contact me or not, for weeks. He knew I had his URL. It was awful. And it’s one of the reasons that I chose to blog under a pseudonym. I’m very picky about who I share my URLs with outside of our community. Many people in my life know I have a blog, know that it was very instrumental in becoming pregnant with my daughter, but do not have access to it.

Anyway, back to my blogoversary! I am so glad I got past my blog aversion. This community has been the rock I’ve leaned on during tough times. Through this community, my donor found me! You've been with me through cancelled and failed cycles, watched pee stick lines get darker, betas rise, belly grow, and the incredible birth of my little girl. I announced her birth right here just 3 hours and 20 minutes after she took her first breath. It was amazing, a couple of weeks ago, to meet so many bloggers I’ve gotten to know these last two years. To introduce them to my miracle baby. To hug them and to meet some of their miracle children.

Many of my ALI blogger friends are still struggling to build their families. My blogoversary wish is for their success. My heart swells with every ALI blogger BFP and birth announcement. What a joy to celebrate the arrival of these very, very wanted children.