Life from Scratch Book Tour

Let me start by saying, I LOVED THIS BOOK! Life from Scratch by Melissa Ford is everything I hoped it would be and more. Reading it felt like hanging out with old friends in the coziest café. I love that Rachel’s BFF is a single mom by choice. And that she didn’t get there easily. “After 2 miscarriages, three fresh IVF transfers, four frozen IVF transfers, several months of daily Lovenox injections, a premature delivery, and a NICU stay, Arianna had Beckett” For me, it was five cancelled IVF cycles, one fresh IVF transfer, two donor frozen embryo transfers, six weeks of Lovenox injections, eight weeks of progesterone in oil injections, and a c-section, that I have my Sunshine. I felt a kinship with Arianna. It’s hard enough to decide to become a parent on your own, having trouble conceiving compounds that.

I loved hearing Melissa’s voice in novel form. Loved the little New York details, like when Rachel and Arianna decide not to stop for bagels at H&H when on the way to Zabars. You have to really know New York city to know that H&H has the BEST bagels, and that they're across the street from Zabars.

I hope I can do the book justice with this post. I’m really feeling the sleep deprivation these days. My very active, teething, not great at sleeping 15 month old, our two cats, and I have just moved into a new apartment. The process has been long, stressful, and isn’t quite over. (Lots of odds and ends to still bring over, and still have to figure out where everything should go.) So this post may not be all I’d like it to be.

Now on to the questions.

If you had a year to do what you wanted, what would you do?  Would you learn to cook or something different?

Ooooooh! Whatever I want?!?!?! I would travel! I love to travel, and really hope my daughter will love it, too. Ideally, I would have someone to deal with the luggage while I focus on wrangling Sunshine, and also to help with childcare so I could do things that you can’t do with a toddler in tow. I would love to take the opportunity to learn new things in different places. For instance, I know of a villa in Tuscany that offers workshops in Tuscan cooking. Maybe a glass blowing class in Venice. Show my daughter the world. See the world through her eyes. Watch her get covered in powdered sugar eating beignets at Café du Monde in New Orleans. Make sure she knows to “Mind the Gap” on the London Underground. Etc.

Rachel's blog Life from Scratch is itself a character in the story. Do you think non-bloggers will understand the details of blogging (blog awards, stats and stat counters, other true life blogs mentioned) and how does writing her blog tie into her story making it appeal to the mainstream?

I’m not really sure. I hope so. I am a mother, my daughter is here in the world, because of my blog. The generous woman who donated embryos to me found my blog through a mention on LFCA. A site maintained by Melissa Ford! It helps when people understand the blogging world when I tell our story. Although, I think even if non-bloggers understand the details of blogging, it’s really hard for outsiders to understand the kinship in the ALI community. We are there for each other through struggles, losses, and successes. It’s hard for outsiders to understand when I tell them I’ve received baby gifts from people I’ve never met face to face. That I sent a baby gift halfway around the world to a blogger I’ve never met in person. That a community is working together on a project for a blogger who’s suffered an unthinkable loss. That we send each other socks. Yes, socks. Because we know it makes it a tiny bit easier to put our feet in those damn stirrups when we see a pair of colorful socks that someone chose for us.

How would you react if your blog hit the big time -- if you had hundreds of thousands or even millions of readers hanging on your every word, if you won awards, if mainstream media wanted to interview and feature you? Are there aspects of blogging fame that you'd refuse? How would the content of your blog change?

Hmmmmm. Well, I just don’t think I’m that good a writer. I like being semi-anonymous with my blog. I use a pseudonym on here, but I’ve never hesitated to tell my fellow bloggers my real name via email. For a long time I didn’t post any identifiable photos. Since my daughter was born I’ve posted plenty of her, and a few of me. If my blog went viral, I might consider removing the photos and not posting any new ones of us. And regardless of my blog’s popularity, I’m sure I'll think harder about what I post about Sunshine as she gets older. I sure wouldn’t mind Heather Armstrong’s money, though. (And I'd be happy to review the iPad here if Apple wants to send me one! Hello, Apple Marketing Dept!) Fame is such an odd thing. I had a surreal moment at a friend’s baby shower/meet the baby party to celebrate the adoption of her son, when a woman came up to me and said, “I know you from your blog!” Wild! Turns out she’s another SMC blogger. We had no idea we had this mutual friend.

I love to hear that our story has inspired others. I had a long phone conversation with a blogger about our open embryo donation process. Since our conversation, she and her husband have donated their embryos. I received an email last year from a woman who said she passed my URL on to a friend who was single and struggling with the idea of winding up childless. I also recently found out that after meeting me and Sunshine at an SMC event last Summer and hearing our story, a woman donated several embryos to another woman she met at the same event. So, famous or not, we never really know when we tell our story, whose life we may change.

So, if you haven’t read it yet, hop over to Amazon.

Paperback

Kindle edition

To continue to the next leg of this book tour, please visit the main list at Write Mind Open Heart.

Our Bodies, Our Choices

This is a hard post to write. Not because I’m lacking in the strength of my convictions, but mostly because others have written so well on the issue of reproductive choice. I haven’t consciously shied away from controversial issues here, even though I may be in the minority as a donor embryo recipient regarding my pro-choice views. I have often commented in support of other pro-choice blog posts, but I’ve never written one. With what's going on right now in the Federal and various State Legislatures, I need to stand up and be heard.

For the details of all the craziness happening right now, read Keiko’s brilliant post. This is some scary shit! The attempt to de-fund Planned Parenthood is insane. Planned Parenthood uses NONE of the federal funds they receive for abortion services! In fact, just 3% of all they do is related to pregnancy termination. Read Cecily’s post for more information. In case you didn’t know, Cecily would likely not be alive if abortion was not a legal medical procedure in this country.

As our dear Mel said in a post last year, “Personally, I think it would behoove any person who wants the family building side of reproductive rights protected to also support termination, after all, if you don’t want your government making fertility treatments illegal, it would make sense to spread that protection to all aspects of reproductive rights.”

I don’t think it’s at all contradictory to be a pro-choice infertile. I encourage my pro-choice infertile sisters to speak out. For ourselves, for each other, for our children. I applaud my fellow bloggers who’ve spoken out on this issue. Who've bravely faced criticism so other women wouldn’t feel so alone. Like my friend Kristin, who posted about a termination that probably saved her life. Like the blogger who posted about her decision to reduce a multiple pregnancy. I KNOW that there will be women in crisis who will find those posts and find fellowship and comfort.

I’m going to quote from another post of Mel’s, because she says it so succinctly here. (And unlike me, she a professional writer. She’s had two books published, you know!) “But restricting access to abortion is just one step away from restricting access to fertility treatments, and I would like to retain control over what happens in my uterus.  I don’t believe we should get into grey areas deeming some abortions ethical and others not; stating that within certain situations, it’s merciful and in others, it’s irresponsible.  It’s a slippery slope once you step onto the rights of others, and anyone who favours outlawing or restricting abortion and is also infertile should consider how they would feel if the reach of the general public went into their body; went towards restricting assisted conception, making the use of fertility drugs illegal.”

Click here to sign a letter to Congress to protest the legislation to bar Planned Parenthood from federal funding.

There will be a Walk for Choice in many cities tomorrow. Please go if you can.

Will You Be Ours?

Our Valentine? Since I didn't get it together to send out holiday cards, Sunshine and I are sending out Valentine's Day cards. Would you like one? Email me your snail mail addy and I'll send one to you. Be warned, the cuteness is outa control!

Have loads to write, just not getting to it. I've been a terrible commenter, most often when I really have something meaningful to say. It's just easier to dash off a quick comment, then I feel bad when I don't leave a comment on someone's important post because it deserves more than a quickie. Please forgive me, I try to keep up on my blog reading, and I think of you all.

$70 For Me, And $70 For One Of My Lovely Readers! Thanks, CSN Stores!

Woohoo! Got a great giveaway coming up to tell you about! First, let me start by saying I wouldn’t do a sponsored post if I didn’t really like the company. I first discovered CSN Stores about 2 1/2 years ago when I was having my kitchen and bathroom painted and wanted to get new ceiling light fixtures for both rooms. CSN Stores has over 200 online stores where you can find everything from handbags, a bathroom vanity, great cookware, or unique light fixtures! The stock on CSN Stores website is so extensive that I was able to find exactly what I wanted at a great price. I was able to sort by type of fixture and price, and browse away until I found what I was looking for.

As I mentioned in my last post about CSN Stores, Sunshine and I are moving into a new apartment. Renovations are done, and I am currently sorting (purging) through our things and moving what I can before movers come for the big furniture. The 2 light fixtures I purchased previously have been moved into the new apartment, as well as 2 new ones I found on CSN Stores lighting site.  For my last post, CSN Stores provided me with a gift code to use on their website. I did not wind up getting either of the things I was originally contemplating, but I am very pleased with what I did get. I was quite practical about my purchases. I got a DVD player, as I was probably the last person around who didn’t have one (I could always play DVDs on my computer, and I <3 my DVR), I got a beautiful wall decal for Sunshine’s room, and a very cool closet organizer thingy.

Now CSN Stores is providing me with another opportunity to review an item from their websites. They are providing me with a $70 gift code for me, and a chance for my readers to win one as well. The actual giveaway post will be in a few weeks. You will have a chance to enter to win by commenting on that post, but for an extra entry, leave a comment on this post with a suggestion for what I should get with my gift code. Since I’m in the process of moving, I’m leaning towards something practical for the new apartment, but I also kind of think I deserve something indulgent just for me. Please do a little browsing and give me your suggestions. Your comment could win you $70 at CSNStores.com!

Devastating

I'm absolutely heartbroken over the loss of Wiseguy's little Lola. Please go give her some love. Then pop over to Kristin's place to join in on the beautiful project that Kristin is putting together for Wiseguy.

New Post on Who Wants To Know! **GIVEAWAY**

Please click over and check out my latest baby product review at Who Wants To Know. It's a space saving baby/toddler bathtub. As added incentive to click over, there's a cute picture of Sunshine demonstrating the product (tightly cropped for modesty). Leave a comment with your best space saving tip for a chance to win one.

Sunshine's First Sleepover WITHOUT MOMMY! *Updated*

Daycare germs have struck again. Friday morning Sunshine threw up twice. Since she seemed fine after that, I attributed it to a night's worth of snot going down her throat instead of pouring out her nose. Then Saturday we hung out with a friend (who's in her 2ww!). We got home around 8:30. I was just able to get Sunshine in her highchair with some cheerios for distraction before I was hurling in the toilet. Got Sunshine to sleep by 9:20 and was puking again by 9:30. A little break until 11:30, then it was pretty much nonstop for HOURS. By 7am I was able to keep some fluids down, but was still very nauseous. Every muscle hurt, my throat was raw from retching, and of course, Sunshine was up bright and early. I called my mother for help. She could come, but it would be a while. I somehow managed to change the poopy (and leaky, naturally) diaper, and gave her a bottle. I put her in her crib with a bunch of toys to play with, and curled up in bed. (The crib is next to the bed.) I also called and left a message with a local babysitter. She was content for a while, then started crying/whining in earnest. I felt terribly guilty when I got her and realized that her snot was dripping all the way to her chin! Then, thankfully, the babysitter called back. She could be here in 5 minutes. YAY! When she got here, I handed Sunshine to her, showed her where the clothes were, got out some pureed peaches for her breakfast, and went back to my sickbed.

My mother arrived about 45 minutes later. Sunshine was dressed and fed, and just about ready for a nap in the car. They hit the road quickly, so as to miss the approaching storm. She's having a great time at her grandmother's. I still feel like crap, but I miss my baybeeee! Last night was the first night we've been apart since she was born. I know it was the right thing, as I spent yesterday and last night barely able to move, finding it hard to find the energy to even get up to get some water. But .... WAAAAAAH!!!! Today I still feel like crap, kind of like a bad hangover. Another night to recover is a good idea, besides, there's a bunch of snow in between us. I miss my Sunshine. :-(

*UPDATE: Relapse! 50 hours after the first puke, just threw up again. FUCK! Afraid to lay down, that it will just make it easier for the sick to come up. Blech, blech, blech!