I don’t like pain. I know that seems obvious, but I’m feeling like I may need to defend that point this evening. I’m going to an open house this evening to meet a group of doulas. I want a labor doula primarily because I’m single. A dear friend is planning to come to New York from Europe for the birth, but babies don’t have calendars in utero. What if my daughter decides to make her debut before my friend gets here? I have good friends locally, but they have busy lives and their own families. Can’t expect them to drop everything at any hour and be there for however long it takes. My mother would be there if I wanted, but that would cause more stress.
But back to my point about not liking pain. It is my impression that many women use doulas to help them avoid pain meds and epidurals. I want a doula AND an anesthesiologist. The hospital where I am delivering is rated #1 here for L&D, and is known for their top notch anesthesiologists. Barring serious complications, I believe every woman should have the kind of delivery she wants. I am also built narrow “there.” I cannot count the number of times during my fertility journey that REs apologized to me when they met resistance with the dildocam. It was odd having to reassure them that they weren’t hurting me, and to just get in there and see what my lining and ovaries were doing. One RE, when I warned him in advance, offered to let me insert it myself. (Psychologically easier, but getting the angle right when on the table and in the stirrups, not so easy.) So, I’m thinking it’s not likely that a head and shoulders are just going to slide out easily.
It’s not contradictory to want labor support and pain relief. So why am I feeling that I will have to defend my choices this evening?