Me and Johnny

Thanks to Dresden’s post, I am now aware that The Deppster and I share a birthday month. Johnny is all of 17 days older than me. In June of 1963, the world was graced with both of us. Yup, you did the math right. I’ll be turning 50 in less than a week. Just a little over 2 months before my daughter starts pre-k. CRAZY! We had an awesome party last Saturday. (Sorry, no pics yet. Waiting for the 3 people who took pics to send them to me.)

I actually okay with this BIG number. I have my Sunshine! I can only imagine how I’d feel about this birthday if I had not managed to cross over from the Land of IF. She is truly the light of my life. But on the other hand, I’m so exhausted! 3 1/2 is a hard age. It feels like just about everything is a battle. She was awesome at the party, because I let her have as many juice boxes and treats as she wanted. Obviously, not an everyday thing. I know these battles are completely age appropriate, and she’s probably easier than lots of other 3 year olds, but it’s wearing me down. Working full time in a stressful environment and my chronic pain issues make it that much harder.

But my big birthday gift to myself should help. With my mom helping with Sunshine, I am scheduled for a breast reduction in 3 weeks. I’ve wanted this for a long time. I was big chested before, but between pregnancy and nursing, I went up about 3 cups sizes. They did not go down after I weaned. Thankfully, my insurance company agrees about the medical necessity, and approved the surgery. From what I hear from people who’ve had this done, the mid and upper back pain, and shoulder and neck pain will ease very quickly afterwards. I’m somewhat nervous about the recovery, but I’ve been reminding myself that I recovered from my c-section much more quickly than I expected, and much more easily than other women I know.

The surgery is scheduled for a Friday, and I’m taking the following week off work. My mom will have Sunshine at her house for the week. I’m anticipating going to my mom’s after a few days if I’m up to it, as I’m sure Sunshine will be jonesing for mama. She’s never spent more than 3 nights in a row at my mom’s without me, and it’s usually just 1 or 2 nights. I expect it to be emotionally rough all around. I’m also concerned about getting Sunshine to understand that she’ll need to be VERY gentle with me while I’m healing. You see, Sunshine seems to think they’re hers to do what she want with. Even though I weaned her at one, and I know she has no memory of breastfeeding, she routinely reaches into my shirt for a comforting grope. And when she wants to snuggle, it’s not unusual for her to slam her head against a breast. OY! Any suggestions? I’ve talked to her little about the surgery and how she’ll need to be gentle. I told her I was going to have an operation, like she did when Dr. W fixed her ears and nose, and it would make my back feel better. My little smart cookie asked if I’d be able to sit on the floor to play with her after. Something she knows I don’t do much because of my back. I’m not too concerned about not picking her up. She’ll have to get used to hearing no on that. For at least a couple of months.

I’m excited, nervous, and just wish the day would get here already.

Happy almost birthday to ME!

And here's a little random cuteness for you.