Today. And My Life, Eleven Years Later.

I don't really have much to say today that I haven't said before. My prior September 11th posts are easy enough to find in my archives. I'm feeling jumpy and out of sorts. It's a crisp clear day, like that one.

But I had a moment this morning that perfectly illustrated how different my life is today. Sunshine held my face in her hands and said, "You my girl? You my big girl?" Oh, yes, child! I am yours!

Hope this brightens your day.

Why?!?!

Why can't you hear the comments I write in my head? Seriously, I'm reading so much lately that I want to comment on, and there's so much in my head I want to write about here. I just wish you could all selectively (selected by me, of course) read my mind a little.

Oh, well. Maybe tomorrow.

I'm With The Band!

I'm really proud of this. I wrote a post for Aunt Becky's awesome Band Back Together site. It's a post that's been percolating in my mind for a long time. I hope you'll click over to read it.

FOR IO!

Did you read this post from Io? It's awesome! She's AWESOME! She's been blogging for a long time, but took a break while she and her husband have been saving up for IVF. She's been such a stalwart in the ALI community, I can only imagine how hard it's been to watch practically EVERYONE cross over to parenthood while she was still waiting for her chance. HER CHANCE IS NOW! She triggered last night, so retrieval tomorrow. I'm waiting impatiently for each update.

Io, my friend, this is for you.

I also put a little good luck package in the mail for her yesterday. Before my first FET, Kathy sent me a package with two pairs of lucky socks. I wore both pairs of socks for both FETs. I can't part with the Canadian flag socks, but I can't think of anyone more deserving of some good sock mojo than Io. So she'll be receiving the other pair in time for her transfer. She has been waiting SO DAMN LONG just to get out of the gate. Here's to the next nine months, girlfriend!

"Happy Father's Day, Mommy!"

I have so many posts swirling around in my head. A few snippets in my drafts folder. Life as a single, working, older mom of a spirited toddler is overwhelming. Work is very busy and stressful. I've been having some back and neck issues lately. The toddler is challenging, but oh, so amazing! Sharp as a tack, my girl! So this post is sort of a cop out with links, photos, and video.

Re the title of this post, did you read Dresden's post about Father's Day on Creating Motherhood? Go on, click over and read her post and my two comments. The first written Friday, the second one yesterday, after I received the Father's Day love from my Sunshine. Pretty awesome! BTW, did you know that Dresden was chosen to read at the BlogHer Community Keynote as a BlogHer Voice of the Year? She ROCKS!

Now for my adorable girl.

 Taking her baby to the playground.

A little diva at our neighborhood Pride parade.

Face painting at a school carnival.

After getting her face painted at a local school carnival, we watched a second grade dance performance. When the second graders were done, there was a break, so Sunshine took to the "stage."

She's got the moves!

Deep Breath ... Keep It Simple

I've been anticipating that questions might come soon. Our SMC/ART/3rd party reproduction story is even more complicated than most. I have been and plan to continue to be open with Sunshine about how our family came to be. Her little BFF was almost three when she asked her mom if Sunshine has a daddy. (She simply said, no, their family doesn't have a daddy.) Sunshine is nearly two and a half. We have lots of different kinds of families in our circle of friends. I recently got her The Family Book. But I still had to think quickly recently when Sunshine was scrolling through photos on my iPod and came across a picture of her siblings at around the age she is now. She pointed to her sister, and said, "Dat's Sunshine." "No, honey. That's J, your sister." "Who's dat?" she asked, pointing to her brother. "That's your brother, E. They live with their mommy in Canada." Then she scrolled on to look at more pictures of herself.

She's certainly heard me discuss her origins with other people. I'm often asked where she gets her red hair. I gauge the particular situation in deciding what to say. When I do feel comfortable telling our story, the most common reaction is how wonderfully incredible it is. Other moms (fertiles, too) get teary. I tell Sunshine how happy I am to be her mommy and that she's my miracle. One morning last week we were cuddling in bed and I asked if she was mommy's big girl. "No," she said. "Are you my little girl?" "No." "Are you mommy's baby?" "No." "Are mommy's miracle?" "Yeah!"

I've thought about whether using the words brother and sister would be confusing to her, but in reading and hearing the adult donor conceived children speak at the big SMC event, that seems to be donor siblings preference for language. And our children are full genetic siblings. Conceived the very same day. Pretty fucking amazing!

Take Home Baby

A couple of weeks ago I came across a ring I had made while I was cycling. I posted about it here, way back when. I wore it until Sunshine was born. When I held it in my hand that day my thoughts were with Mo and her very precious little one. I slipped it on my finger. I think about what it took to bring Sunshine into the world ALL. THE. TIME. All children are miracles, but dare I say that some are more miraculous than others? The love and support I received from the ALI community while on the rocky road to motherhood was immeasurable. I love seeing the comments rack up when Mo posts. I imagine they give her little nuggets of strength as they pop up in her email throughout the day. I’ve decided to wear my ring again until Mo and Will bring home their child. A little personal show of solidarity. Can’t wait to meet this kid!