Dark Thoughts & Avoidance

It feels wrong to finish my overdue third birthday post without saying something about the Connecticut school shooting. I have for the most part avoided news stories and blog posts. But a few bloggers have addressed it better than I can.

I really related to this from Mel in a post that was only partly about Sandy Hook:

"I’ve been trying not to think about the event itself, looking at the coverage out of the corner of my eye.  Do you know that is a preemie survival technique?  Their brains become so overwhelmed from stimulation that they cope by looking at things out of the corner of their eye instead of head-on.  So I am looking at the events at Sandy Hook out of the corner of my eye, trying to distract myself."

Maybe it’s because I was a preemie, but more likely because as Mel’s husband Josh said, "sending our children to school has always been an act of faith." Every day I send my precious daughter out into the world while I go to work. She is in the care of teachers who love her, as were the children of Newtown. As she grows older, I will have to allow her more and more freedom in the world. In order to manage fears that could easily explode out of control, I sometimes need to put my blinders on. 

I also found myself agreeing with this post I came across and this post of Jen’s that Mel listed in a Roundup.

As for how to prevent/minimize these types of horrific crimes, this post made a lot of sense to me, even though I think some of the ideas are unrealistic. If even some of them were implemented, the world would be somewhat safer. And, really, that's the best we can do.

Perfect Moment Monday: CHOCOLATE!

I’ve started Sunshine’s birthday letter, and I’ve got a few things running through my head about the recent tragedy in Connecticut, but I’ve been too busy, or too tired and overwhelmed to get those together. So I thought I’d post a quickie for Lori’s Perfect Moment Monday.

I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt and sadness that I often miss terrific photo opportunities, but I know it’s generally because I’m right there in the moment with my girl. Even when I do take some pictures, it might be 5 or 10 pictures instead of a dozen or so. My Perfect Moment, for instance. I took Sunshine to a chocolate workshop last week. For the first part I was too involved with helping her to take my camera or phone out of my pockets. I wish I’d thought to hand my camera to an employee, but I did get a few winners later. Most importantly, Sunshine had a BLAST! It was awesome watching her have so much fun.

Wishing you a wonderful 2013 from our little family.

 

Post Sandy Update & Get Out And Vote Video

I know, not the best post title, but it’s been a week! We were fine during the hurricane. We had a few flickering lights Saturday night, but never lost power. The worst we had to deal with was toddler cabin fever. It’s going to be a long Winter!

Our neighborhood really came together. An alternative Halloween activity was quickly organized. The kids had a great time. Then the community came together to help fellow New Yorkers who didn’t fair as well. A few kids started out by setting up a table by our playground and offering manicures for donations for Sandy relief efforts, then a little bake sale popped up. By the weekend, tons of donations were being collected, and driven to Rockaway and Staten Island, The bake sale grew, and hot food and drinks were for sale to help the effort. Thousands of dollars were raised, calls were made to find out what was needed most, and trips to Home Depot were made to purchase requested vital items to bring to the devastated areas. It was heartening to walk around Sunday afternoon and see the huge piles of donations, people enjoying homemade baked goods for a good cause, and the adorable girls, still giving manis. Sunshine helped me fill a couple of bags with warm clothes, shoes, boots, and toys.

Now our video. I probably should have started sooner teaching Sunshine to pronounce our President’s name. Oh, well. GO! VOTE!

My Hard Earned Expertise And Other Miscellania

Two weeks ago yesterday I was walking home from daycare with Sunshine when we met a woman walking her golden retriever. We usually stop to say hello to the neighborhood dogs, as I don’t want Sunshine to grow up being afraid, and I want her to learn how to approach them safely. So I asked my usual question. “Is it a friendly dog?” “Oh, yes, Zena loves children!”

Well, this dog had pretty much the same color fur as Sunshine’s hair. So I asked her, “What color is Zena’s fur?” “Sawberry bond.” (That’s strawberry blonde, for those not fluent in toddler.) We laughed at her adorableness. The woman was completely enchanted by Sunshine. “Oh, she’s wonderful! You’re so lucky!” she gushed. I agreed, and told her that I’d waited a long time for her. Her expression changed. “Did you use fertility treatments?” So I gave her the abbreviated version of our story. “I’m single, too, “ she confided. “And my first IUI is tomorrow!”

We exchanged contact info and I wished her luck. Since then via text and phone I have guided her more than her RE. (Duh!) Explaining that when calculating days post ovulation, ovulation day is day 0. Reassuring her that the pink spotting these last two days is probably irritation from the progesterone suppositories. Laughing to myself that she had no idea about taking multiple HPTs to watch the line get darker. She got a faint line on a FRER on Tuesday, then a neg on a digital on Wednesday, so I assured her that digital tests are notoriously less sensitive. She didn’t want to spend more money on HPTs (CRAZY, I KNOW!), so decided to wait until her beta, which is today. Waiting for the text.

Update: Negative beta. I'm calling it a chemical.

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Today was Dresden’s second beta. Not great, but not out of the game. Please go over and giver her some love.

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Magpie Watch 2012 is ON! I can’t wait to hear that this long awaited little girl is here, and that mom and baby are well.

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Last Saturday morning Sunshine and I had a little dance party in our kitchen. Whenever we dance together I’m reminded of what a joy it is, and that we should do it more often. After dancing together, Sunshine did a solo dance. I know the video is a little long, but it’s worth it! Her moves at the end are great. Enjoy! (Please disregard the mess on my kitchen counters.)

You’re Invited! A Virtual Shower For Mo.

I am so blessed. Obviously, I’m so blessed with my amazing little girl, but I’m also blessed with wonderful friends. Friends who get it. I don’t differentiate between bloggy friends and other friends. If someone asks, I may say I know the friend through the internet, but I don’t offer up that information. My internet friends are not second tier friends. They’re just friends. Some of whom I’ve met face to face, and some I haven’t. I feel so lucky to count Mo as a friend. I’ll always remember our first face to face meeting, where we almost immediately began cracking dark jokes about cycling that may well have shocked anyone eavesdropping. She was the first person other than hospital staff and immediate family to hold my newborn. I was so happy to have dinner with her a few weeks ago and see her glorious baby belly.

And now I am so excited that she has agreed to my suggestion of a virtual baby shower. I have set up a separate blog for this: Waiting For Magpie: A Celebration. I would love it if you would write your congratulations to their family, or maybe the best bit of newborn advice you wish you'd known, or the odd baby gear you found invaluable, or whatever. Please email them to me at dorasblog@gmail.com, and I'll post each one as its own post. Let’s hop to it! This baby girl could arrive any time now! I’ll be writing my own post as soon as I have a little more time. (And also create a cute little header.) But I’ll put up the posts as they come in. So join the party!

Perfect Moment Monday: Conversations

Sunshine was a bit delayed with her speech. Her poor little ears were filled with goop until she had her surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids, and drain her ears and insert ear tubes. That was done a month after her second birthday. Immediately she could hear so much better, and her speech took off. I’m just loving our conversations. Her enthusiasm, peeking into her thought process, watching her sense of humor develop, the give and take, it’s awesome.

As I’ve posted recently, I haven’t been feeling great lately, but I savor our increasingly nuanced conversations. They are wonderful perfect moments.

Last week as I pushed her in her stroller after leaving daycare, I asked if she wanted a banana.

“You have one?” she asked.

I stopped pushing the stroller and walked around to face her. “Would I ask you if you wanted one if I didn’t have one?”

“You have it in you bag?”

"Yes."

“You rock, Mama!”

And speaking of her sense of humor, I tried to get her to sing happy birthday to her cousin, and this is what I got. Cheeky girl!

I Should Have Done This Months Ago!

Had my epidural injections yesterday morning. It was very different than the epidural I got during labor. It was done under fluoroscopy, with fine needles on both sides of the spine. It hurt, but not as bad as I anticipated. Definitely not as bad as the facet injections I’ve had. The dr told me I’d be sore, and to expect the injections to take full effect in a few days. But even though I was quite sore, I felt the difference right away. I went home and took a long nap, then spent some time sorting through Sunshine’s clothes. Bagging up the outgrown items and organizing the Fall clothes. I’d done a little of this Sunday night, and was in a lot of pain just from folding things. Doing it yesterday evening was easy! I feel like a different person! There’s still some pain, but I’m reassured knowing I will probably feel even better in a few days.

Started Mobic (7.5mg) this morning. The three days leading up to the injections without NSAIDs convinced me that I really need to be on a strong anti-inflammatory. Thanks so much for all the support!